OH LAWD JEZUS!!!!!

So, I have date 1 set up. I joined a local singles group this morning and chatted with this woman online, and she was smart and funny. So I asked her out for a coffee date. She only had one of those cartoon avatars up wasn't totally my type, but what can you really tell from an avatar?

I'll tell you what you can tell from an avatar: how a person would like other people to view them! That's what you can tell, and that's about all.

Suddenly it all come flooding back to me: meeting people online. Old and outdated profile pics, lots of chatting, both online and on the phone, that leads to meeting up somewhere only to realize that within 5 minutes that if you'd met them at a party you would have never invested so much time.

I guess the skill aquisition is in the asking and the persistence to keep on trying; holding firm to the expectation that I'm only 30 days away from knowing 3-4 women that I really feel like I connect with. I don't want a girlfriend right now, just some lesbians that I click with. It's been a few years since I feel like I've had that. So, I guess this project is about developing the skills to go after it, even when it's illusory, because it's important to me.

But, to be honest, right now I feel like Danielson detailing Mr. Miagi's car. Wax on, wax off. How the fuck is this going to get be a Cobra Kai victory!?!?

Step One!

Ok- I've put up some online posts (well, CL and a local singles group), but even doing that took far longer than it needed to. Everyone has seen CL. It's hard to say that I expect much from there, but then I feel like I'm not fully committed to meeting people if I leave this stone unturned.

As much as I expect to find grubs and some things I'd rather not touch, I'm going to think of this as being committed to trying, and overcoming my reservations about the bleakness of this city's prospects. I sent out a text to 15 or 20 people telling them I was doing the project, and the only responses I got were some variant of "You're the only (single) lesbian I know." And then I thought about it, *I* only know one other single lesbian right now, and she wants to do this project with me!

SMH

I did get asked out on a date by a married woman, a gay friend, and a couple of straight female friends who were trying to be supportive. If only this were a game of horseshoes.

Next step, join the community organizations. (The only one that exists here is for "Aging Lesbians". But, I've been invited to join more than once. Ouch!)

Online Personals

I just got back in town from NYC this past weekend, and coming from a city where there are lots of beautiful women all around me everywhere I go to a much smaller city with a much smaller dating pool has made me realize just how big of a challenge this is going to be. I can tell already that my ego may be a bit bruised from nothing other than the dating constraints.

I went out Saturday, and didn't even take my phone since I had no intention of meeting people. As luck would have it, we ended up in a club that was having an off night, and I still met three different women who texted me so that we could get together before I left town.

It's Monday morning, and I'm back home and ready to get started for this project next week. I just looked through the online personals, and didn't see a single person that I wanted to contact. So, I'm mustering up the gumption (self-delusion) to create profiles with the expectation that there are lots of women (just like me) who are out there, but don't have online profiles.

Maybe it's a good time to catch all the new grad students and queer faculty who are moving to the city? I think I just found the central substance of my self-delusion!!

Introductions

It seemed like a good idea to introduce the gang, so here we are!

Vey

I'm short, but I'm smart. I'm funny, but I'm cute! That was the tagline for the first online profile I ever posted; so I guess that's me in ten words or less. I am a lover of dry wit, and I am immediately enamored with someone who can turn a phrase. I guess I'm a just a simple ol' sapiosexual that abhors pretense.

The project seemed like a fun way to meet lots of people, and learn about new things to do while I'm in town for the next few years. It feels both fun and easy, and completely impossible to do at the same time. 30 dates feels pretty easy, but 30 dates with people that I want to go out with (WHEW!) now that really feels like pushing it into the realm of absurdity! So, I hope that this project helps me to notice more of what I want and act on it, rather than waiting and hoping for other people to act on my behalf in my own self-interest.

Let's see what happens!